And the winner is....
Here it is... The winning tale! Story number two: Headbutts from an eighteen month old!*
He wanted a cookie, but he'd been misbehaving so I looked him in the eyes and firmly told him, "No cookie for you!"
He looked back at me with a petulant glare. "Me want cookie!"
I held my ground. "No cookie for you! You've been bad!"
He wailed, and then grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me. I countered by spinning around and throwing him against the couch. He made use of the springyness of the cushions and bounced back at me in an attempt to get me with a flying clothesline. I anticipated this move and stepped off to the side. As he flew past me, I readied my move... His eighteen month old eyes widened in realization that this was my finishing move. I brought my forehead forth with blinding speed, using his forward momentum to help add to the force of the mighty blow.
*CRACK*
The resulting collision echoed throughout the house as his body dropped to the floor. His eyes crossed, then unconsciousness took over. I was the victor and still champion! I got down to pin my victim, and suddenly I got smacked with an aluminum chair. I collapsed upon the ground, still managing to pin my opponent only to next get beaten repeatedly with a plastic Bam-Bam bat! I glanced over my shoulder to note that it was the nineteen month old! He came out of nowhere to avenge his partner's fall! Alas, it wasn't enough, for the count was completed, and I got declared the champion. I got the cookies and the milk; they got a nap.
And all was good in the world once again.
*this isn't the real story, it's only here for laughs right now. The real story comes later tonight or tomorrow.
He wanted a cookie, but he'd been misbehaving so I looked him in the eyes and firmly told him, "No cookie for you!"
He looked back at me with a petulant glare. "Me want cookie!"
I held my ground. "No cookie for you! You've been bad!"
He wailed, and then grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me. I countered by spinning around and throwing him against the couch. He made use of the springyness of the cushions and bounced back at me in an attempt to get me with a flying clothesline. I anticipated this move and stepped off to the side. As he flew past me, I readied my move... His eighteen month old eyes widened in realization that this was my finishing move. I brought my forehead forth with blinding speed, using his forward momentum to help add to the force of the mighty blow.
*CRACK*
The resulting collision echoed throughout the house as his body dropped to the floor. His eyes crossed, then unconsciousness took over. I was the victor and still champion! I got down to pin my victim, and suddenly I got smacked with an aluminum chair. I collapsed upon the ground, still managing to pin my opponent only to next get beaten repeatedly with a plastic Bam-Bam bat! I glanced over my shoulder to note that it was the nineteen month old! He came out of nowhere to avenge his partner's fall! Alas, it wasn't enough, for the count was completed, and I got declared the champion. I got the cookies and the milk; they got a nap.
And all was good in the world once again.
*this isn't the real story, it's only here for laughs right now. The real story comes later tonight or tomorrow.
posted by Toxic Ned at 11:08 PM
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